Trail Mix

Quick Energy for Your Journey Through Life

Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Going Back to the Office Anytime Soon

One day at a time.
12-step Program Saying

I’m writing this in the time of the 2020 Coronavirus/COVID-19 quarantine. For the last two and a half months, I’ve been serving my clients exclusively through a “telehealth” process. I sit in a guest bedroom in my home and converse with my clients via a secure remote audio/video platform. So far, it’s working well for both me and (most of) my clients. As time wears on, however, a few colleagues (including the landlord at my office) and a small number of clients have posed the question of if and when I plan to return to my office and resume in-person sessions. Let me present my top ten reasons for not returning anytime soon: …

You Couldn’t Have Done It Without You!

Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself.
Chinese Proverb

Dear Successful Client,

I’ve been noticing a change in you lately. You seem lighter and brighter. You have a smile on your face that wasn’t there when I first met you. You laugh more easily at my corny jokes. I might be wrong, but you seem to have less “heavy stuff” to talk about. Our conversations seem more, what’s the word, “conversational” in nature. These are the moments when I feel a wonderful shift in your energy, good feelings rippling out from you. Thank you for that! …

Yet Another COVID-19 Blog Article

If you don’t have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in the world.
Lila Ash, New Yorker cartoonist

Well, you knew it was coming, right? Any self-respecting psychologist HAS to write at least one article about what’s happening right now as we face the coronavirus pandemic and live under lockdown conditions. So, here’s mine. You’re welcome! …

Beware the Advice of “Marital First Responders”

Bad advice will blind you, good advice will instruct you, excellent advice will enlighten you, and transcendent advice will elevate you.
Matshona Dhliwayo

When you experience problems in your relationship, you might find yourself opening up to others about those problems. While this is probably more true of women, when things get really bad, even guys do it too (admit it!). You might go to friends, family members, co-workers, clergy, hair stylists, bartenders, or others to gripe, vent, seek reassurance, get perspective, or problem-solve (guys mostly on this one). These natural confidantes in your life then serve as “marital first responders.” They’re in the position of helping you do first aid on your relationship. …

The Male Mode of Depression, Part 4: Where a Man Can Find Help

We have found that once men stop depriving themselves of human connection and instead form authentic relationships with other people, their conventional presenting problems often disappear.
Charlie Donaldson and Randy Flood

In prior articles, we’ve looked at several aspects of the way men typically experience depression. To recap, we’ve looked at how depression is expressed by a man (here), how it develops in a man (here), and what wake-up calls a man might experience that motivate him to get some help (here). Now, we’re finally ready to explore some ways that men can get effective help for their condition. You’ll see that the great majority of these methods involve gaining greater experience, competence, and enjoyment in connecting with other people. Over time, this tends to do the trick, as they say, although it’s not an instant cure. A lot of times, however, men will need to work their way up to these methods due to the last gasp efforts of the internalized Man Code to interfere with the process. Let’s see how this works. …

The Male Mode of Depression, Part 3: What Causes a Man to Get Help

The cure for covert depression is overt depression.
Terrence Real

In prior articles, we’ve looked at what men’s depression, sometimes called “covert depression,” looks like (here) and where it comes from (here). Given that men typically hide their depressed feelings (overt depression) from themselves and others (hence, “covert), it takes a bit of doing for them to come to a place where they seek help. Most often, men don’t seek help without a major “wake-up call” in their life. This is much like (or the same as) when an addict hits “rock bottom” and admits they are powerless over what’s happening in their life. The word “powerless” describes a condition in which few men want to find themselves. Let’s take a look at some of the situations that push men into this condition. Let’s also look at how to speed things along (a good thing; really!). …

Dr. Dan is fully booked and is only available to current and former clients.

To find a therapist with openings in their schedule, you may wish to search the Psychology Today Therapist Directory. It enables you to search for people who take your insurance, have relevant specialties, and more.